A Rabid Maniac Pleads With You To Not Take Away Their Phone
Don’t take away my fucking phone.
What? No, I’m not “attached” to it.
Why can’t you take it away then?
Uhh, because it’s. Fucking. Racist. That’s why.
Yeah. It’s racist. Betcha didn’t know that, did you?
How?
Because I’m Black. And I like my phone.
And there’s actually a lot of Black people. About 41 million in the United States alone. And I’m sure a lot of them like their phones, too.
So. If you take away phones. That’s like making millions of Black people unhappy. And making Black people unhappy is inherently racist.
STOP!! LET GO OF MY PHONE.
Sorry. I didn’t mean to hiss and bite you. I’m not attached. I promise.
No. I can put it down at any time. But you can’t take it.
Why?
I think the better question is why do you want to take it? It’s giving white privilege.
How?
Because not everyone is like you. That’s right. Not everyone can be happy and live their lives without phones. That’s a privilege.
What about all the Black people who lived before phones?
There were no Black people who lived before phones. Life began in 2020. Nobody lived before me. There was nothing. At all.
Life began with Instagram. And life will end with Instagram.
STOP!! LET GO OF MY PHONE.