Mattel, Inc: Black Icon Toys
Today, in response to riveting demand by Black people who use the word “community” five times a day, Mattel has released a line of toy figurines modeled after various Black activists and writers.
Some historic figures depicted include James Baldwin, Zora Neale Hurston, Toni Morrison, and many other writers whom Black people post pictures of because they look cool, but lie about engaging with their work.
With this line, Mattel has discovered a way to turn the phony and performative enjoyment of these icons into cold, hard profit.
It’s utterly brilliant, when you think about it.
By making astute observation of the cyclical and limited nature by which the Black community designates icons, the company has identified a striking similarity with the nature by which children purchase toys.
By only talking about the same ten people over and over again, Black people have, out of thin air, fashioned these icons into intellectual property. An IP of which, until now, has been left untapped. And, an IP of which, in typical Black fashion, has been left uncapitalized on by Black people—left wide open for a major corporation to come swoop in, make bank, and leave niggas complainin’.
Now, this way, Mattel can make money off of niggas lying about reading bell hooks. For the toy figurine model creates a tangible, physical object out of the raw desire to show off your newest, coolest plaything.
Want everyone you think is cool to know you also like Hurston? No need to find random, out of context quotes of hers on Instagram. Or buy one of her books and carry it around with you in your bag for five months—taking it out in parks, never moving past page seven—until you find your next obsession.
Just buy the Zora Neale Hurston toy figurine (elder Black lady hat and anti-communist sentiments sold separately), and bring it to your next get-together.
You know you spend a lot more time liking pictures of Toni Morrison and Lorraine Hansberry than you actually spend reading them. With their toy figurines you can hold, literally, in your hand, the only thing you actually care about in regards to them.
None of this is to mention the genius longevity of the idea. Just like there will always be new children being born who will enjoy, and whose parents will consume, the IP’s of Pixar or Peppa Pig, the Black community will never tire of talking about, and consuming, the same ten people.
There will always be a market for Mattel, Inc: Black Icon Toys, because there will always be frontin’ ass niggas.