150 Comments
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alex b.'s avatar

"My small beanie felt like walking around with my dick out."😭😭😭

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Jem's avatar

forever changed after reading that sentence😭😭

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Matunda Nishobora's avatar

🤣

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Matunda Nishobora's avatar

Killed me😅

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Sara Clark's avatar

Absolutely brilliant! Thank you for the laugh! Now to get the image of John Legend in that green lace matching set out of my head 😮‍💨

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Katie Mack's avatar

“I was a fucking animal.” LMFAOOOO. LOVE.

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Jacque Aye's avatar

This is THE funniest thing I’ve read this year lmaooo instantly subbing

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striped journal's avatar

fun read but i gotta say, maybe you just have to be ur own version of corny. maybe all these dreams are teachers, not ghosts, guiding you to the version of corny that might align best with you. good luck 🥹

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HIERO's avatar

is there a female equivalent? i’m sure we can dream one up but NO because a woman would NEVER have such freedom and carelessness lmao this was so so good

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Saheim Patrick's avatar

Oh no, y'all aren't safe, either! The female equivalent of this would probably talk about women who don't play about 'Heart of a Woman' by Summer Walker and other selections in the Lash Tech Music genre

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Saheim Patrick's avatar

I say that with love, though ❤️.

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AnissaRenae's avatar

Lash Tech Music Genre is crazyyyyyyy but accurate 😂😂😂

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Jane Cajuste's avatar

Spot on! LTM, now added to my vocabulary.

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Jaida Liena's avatar

Lash Tech Music Genre is crazy 😭

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bri hyve's avatar

The female equivalent is Solange Knowles and her ilk. Lmao

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HIERO's avatar

ill take NO solange slander or lash tech music lashings 🙂‍↔️🙂‍↔️🙂‍↔️ those niches are no where near the shameless on-the-cob levels as the male archetype described in this piece!

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Jane Cajuste's avatar

Keep Solange’s name out your mouth 🤣

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bri hyve's avatar

Lolol! The lash techs are far from corny. They’re ghetto! And ghetto is cool. Solange is definitely corny. She’d be the gf of one of those “on-the-cob” black dudes described in the piece.

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HIERO's avatar

EXACTLY!

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HIERO's avatar

maybe the committed hoteptresses tho …

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milk man's avatar

A bird.

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toussaintF12's avatar

Take Malcolm off the corny nigga book recommendations pleeeease.

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kadi's avatar

It's not that Malcom is corny, it's that fake deep people love to name check without actually practicing what's in the books.

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Derious Vaughn's avatar

SZA said real niggas don’t deserve pussy, and I’ve been in my Urkel bag ever since 🤓

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Kennadi's avatar

The title has me in tears

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Jasmine Clark's avatar

Love your writing style, immediately felt like my people and had me yelling at my phone. Subbed. 🙌🏽

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Ali's avatar

This is soooo good. Incredible writing 😂🫶🏾

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MAXX FREEMAN's avatar

I am cracking up, not the lil mama at the end; something here is also very vulnerable—— the embrace, the freedom—- the spectrum of thought and thinking—-

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King Jedi's avatar

😭😭 I was dyingg... "You know the type. They were what made André 3000 comfortable enough to drop New Blue Sun. He knew there was a market of tea-sipping Negroes with small beanies." Just one of the many gems.

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Jimmy Soulero's avatar

What makes this funny is the truth in it lmaoooo

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Akamara Tarot's avatar

This tore a sharp fit of laughter from me after a solid week of nearly inconsolable depression.

Thank you for this. Premium hilarity. 😂🙏🏾

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Manny's avatar

The way I’m hollering. 🤣

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