This Little White Girl Told Me She Wanted To Be An “Instagram Influencer,” I Said Baby, That’s a Con Artist

This little white girl gon’ tell me she want to be an “influencer.” I said what is that little white girl? She said Shirley, its when you get paid to “post” on “social media.” I said why do they pay you? She said, “because you’re famous.” I said famous for what? She said, “for posting on social media.”

I said, “but ain’t you getting paid to post on social media because you’re famous?” She said yes. I said, “But you have get paid to post on social media first to get famous?” (Y’all know I don’t be on these “apps”. Lol.) She said, “Well, no Miss Shirley, you don’t have to get paid. You just have to get famous posting on social media first.” I said so you post on social media, then people pay you for posting on social media, then you get famous, causing them to then pay you even more, for being famous? She said yes. I said but what is it that you’re posting on social media in the first place to get famous? She gon’ say, “Well, kind of just your life.” Said it just like that. “Kind of just your life.” In that voice. I said baby, you want to be a con artist.

She said Miss Shirley what? I said yeah. The definition of a con artist is somebody who “persuades other people into believing something about themselves that is not true so that they can gain something financially.” Then she tried to say something and I cut her off and repeated what I had just said. “So that they can gain something financially.” Said it just like that. Financially.

I said little white girl you over here using social media and Instagram and brand deals and shit to make yourself look like a celebrity, to trick people into believing that you deserve fame and attention, so that you can get a dollar. And you oughta be spanked.

Said back in my day being a celebrity meant something. Meant you had talent. You wasn’t just famous for no reason. Wasn’t just using fame to exploit hard-working people willing to spend their hard-earned money on you. You worked all week to go see Gladys Knight. Not ‘cause she wore “LuLu,” but because she could sing her ass off. I said little white girl can you sing? She said “No.” I said what is your talent? She said, “I’m not really sure. I’m still trying to figure it out.” I said yeah, you oughta. Think about what you can give this world for one second in your life, instead of just take. That little white girl went home crying that day. She sure did.

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