I cackled out loud at this part: “ I’m the BBTW who hasn’t had a haircut in a year, and looks like he escaped from the New Yorker Cartoons extended universe to chase his lifelong dream of life in the big city.” 😂😂
When you said "I also try to switch my voice up around my girlfriend. Sometimes when we’re driving I’ll put on the most ignorant trap song I can find, and really lean into my Southern Drawl while rapping along, just so she knows I’m still a Nigga."
This cracked me up but at the same time, I felt this. Being a black man that's married to a white woman (that is a veterinarian. We used to work with each other at a vet hospital lol), I think that we would have times in which we have been exposed to certain things associated with white people exclusively. Then when we have a second of reflection, we think "Shit..I need to get back to some nigga shit" almost to a sense of us not losing where we came from and not letting microaggressions and subtleties go ignored. It does sound like one of those goofy/stupid Facebook tests and she thought of you as far as what breed of dog would you be.
With the history of how Black men and women have LITERALLY been looked at as such and it is still prevalent in specifically Jamaican culture calling "having sex" breeding isn't helpful. I think that this is why it stings so much to even have dog breed and talking about any Black individual in the same conversation. It is a very weird mental space to be in when you think someone that you love is unconsciously spitting racial epithets at you.
I think you should check your gf and make sure that she understands why this bothers you. Even though she may not realize what the implications were, there's still some education needed on her part potentially.
But then I ask....why do we always feel that is our responsibility?
Her response is incredibly red flag. The only white people that I think are okay are the ones who are anti-racist. Not "not racist". That response is going to lead to a whole mess of shit if they stay together or have kids.
This makes my heart hurt in the best way. As a white woman who has dated several black men, it was a big wake-up call to realize the ways I'd been subtly challenging/subverting their identity when I thought I was just being adorable and a "great date/gf". My personal wake-up call(s) came through deep, honest friendships (not dating relationships) with black men quite a while after my "adorable" years, and the wake-up calls just keep coming in all my close relationships. If we're paying attention, we keep learning new subtleties to the ways our embodied identities impact our experience and the experiences others have of us. Thanks for such an incisive and compassionate post.
I cackled out loud at this part: “ I’m the BBTW who hasn’t had a haircut in a year, and looks like he escaped from the New Yorker Cartoons extended universe to chase his lifelong dream of life in the big city.” 😂😂
When you said "I also try to switch my voice up around my girlfriend. Sometimes when we’re driving I’ll put on the most ignorant trap song I can find, and really lean into my Southern Drawl while rapping along, just so she knows I’m still a Nigga."
This cracked me up but at the same time, I felt this. Being a black man that's married to a white woman (that is a veterinarian. We used to work with each other at a vet hospital lol), I think that we would have times in which we have been exposed to certain things associated with white people exclusively. Then when we have a second of reflection, we think "Shit..I need to get back to some nigga shit" almost to a sense of us not losing where we came from and not letting microaggressions and subtleties go ignored. It does sound like one of those goofy/stupid Facebook tests and she thought of you as far as what breed of dog would you be.
With the history of how Black men and women have LITERALLY been looked at as such and it is still prevalent in specifically Jamaican culture calling "having sex" breeding isn't helpful. I think that this is why it stings so much to even have dog breed and talking about any Black individual in the same conversation. It is a very weird mental space to be in when you think someone that you love is unconsciously spitting racial epithets at you.
I think you should check your gf and make sure that she understands why this bothers you. Even though she may not realize what the implications were, there's still some education needed on her part potentially.
But then I ask....why do we always feel that is our responsibility?
Her response is incredibly red flag. The only white people that I think are okay are the ones who are anti-racist. Not "not racist". That response is going to lead to a whole mess of shit if they stay together or have kids.
This makes my heart hurt in the best way. As a white woman who has dated several black men, it was a big wake-up call to realize the ways I'd been subtly challenging/subverting their identity when I thought I was just being adorable and a "great date/gf". My personal wake-up call(s) came through deep, honest friendships (not dating relationships) with black men quite a while after my "adorable" years, and the wake-up calls just keep coming in all my close relationships. If we're paying attention, we keep learning new subtleties to the ways our embodied identities impact our experience and the experiences others have of us. Thanks for such an incisive and compassionate post.
🙄
cackling and I have’t even clicked anything yet 🤦🏾♀️
😂😂😂 joooookes!! I needed this on a Monday!
Hahaha sir, this is a Wendy’s por favor 😭😭😭
tremaine??
I'll get more shadow banned for saying the right answer, brother. Assess the situation !
?