You Can Always Tell When A White Girl's Listening to Lauryn Hill Is Performative And Not Representative of Her True Spirit
Turn off ‘Killing Me Softly With His Song’ and turn on ‘Mystery of Iniquity’, you demon.
That’s a really nice TikTok of you dancing to ‘Doo Wop (That Thing)’ but I can see the emptiness in your eyes.
You yearn for something drier and hollow. You don’t have to do this. We’re not going to love you any more or hate you any less if you act like you like Lauryn Hill.
How come every time you listen to her you hold your hands to your heart and close your eyes? What’s wrong with you? What life are you getting?
I’ve been wearing cowrie shells in my head and cocoa butter on my skin for years, but when I tried to spit game at y’all y’all only cared about skinny white men. Stay on that side. Keep loving your Bob Dylans.
And, although I would rather y’all not listen to any RnB/Rap at all, here’s five things you need to do if you really wanna be about that life (calling yourself a Lauryn Hill fan):
Listen to the MTV Unplugged album.
Watch, read, breathe, engage, argue about, live anything directly or indirectly relating to Black people from 1995 to when Kanye went MAGA. It’s essential you learn your history.
Go to ten music festivals. They can either be in Chicago, Atlanta, or Philadelphia.
Try getting sister locs at multiple points in your life (each time them not really connecting with what the vision was).
Fuck broke niggas.
This isn’t just something you can be apart of by listening to three songs from Miseducation. This is a lifestyle. Get in that field, Stacy.
When you said “What’s wrong with you? What is your life giving?” I cackled so hard. Because I’ve seen White women do this. It’s like they get by the Taylor Swift version of the Holy Spirit and try to pass it off like a Black artist gave them life. Now when I see White women do the most around Black people, I’m going to think of this article and will have to suppress laughter as I’ll more likely be out in public.
Lmao! I think they do #5 in secret