Imagined Monologues

I Woke Up With a BBL

September 21st, 2025

Oct 31

I’m Babysitting Some Bad Ass White Kid. Am I Allowed To Scare Him With The Train Scene From The Wiz? Or Would That Be Encouraging Cultural…

Sep 24 •

Nobody Talks About How Chilling Like A Villain Can Lowkey Get Really Existential

Chilling is the liminal space of moods.

Aug 6 •

and

Just Because I Died That Doesn’t Give You Permission To Post Pictures From That One Time I Had Loc Extensions

I recently died.

Jul 28

I Want Opps Just So I Can Argue With Them On Instagram Live

Jul 22

I Didn’t Wear A Cowboy Hat To The Beyoncé Concert And They Beat My Ass

Tyrant was dope.

Jul 21 •

Tyler Perry, When The Revolution Comes, Where Will You Hide?

Tyler Perry, When The Revolution Comes, Where Will You Hide?

Jul 14

If Bob Dylan Was A Black Man He’d Be Working At McDonald’s

Walk with me now.

Jul 13 •

Your Ancestors Are Proud Of Your New York Times Repost

Buy that beret.

Jul 5 •

and

I Mean Yeah He’s A Good Player But He Didn’t Lick Adam Silver’s Bald Head

Taste the jojoba oil.

Jul 3

Everybody Hates Riots

A satire on the current political moment

Jun 19 •

Luke McGowan-Arnold

CIA Agent Does Counterinsurgency with Other CIA Agent

Jun 15

#nojs-banner { position: fixed; bottom: 0; left: 0; padding: 16px 16px 16px 32px; width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box; background: red; color: white; font-family: -apple-system, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif, "Apple Color Emoji", "Segoe UI Emoji", "Segoe UI Symbol"; font-size: 13px; line-height: 13px; } #nojs-banner a { color: inherit; text-decoration: underline; } This site requires JavaScript to run correctly. Please turn on JavaScript or unblock scripts